My Back

I think I injured my back in September but it wasn't until some time in December that my back hurt so much I finally made it to a Dr. - an osteopath. Since then I've been going weekly to visits where they massage, rotate and poke and my back.

It seemed like I was on the mend and two weeks ago they thought I could take two weeks off and slowly decrease my treatments, as at the initial meeting they thought since I'm young and healthy that I would only need 6-8 weeks of treatment.

This Monday when I went back to the osteopath I was crying with every step I took to the tube. My back is messed up. I feel like I'm twisted to the right. My L3 or L4 seems to have disk damage (that's in the middle or lumbar part of the back). Obviously my hyper-mobility is not helping either. But I've lost so much of my flexibility. I can no longer roll down my spine without flinching. I cannot lie on my back with my legs against the wall straight. I am unable to exercise because of this. I'm only 28 and right now am so angry with my body. I can't do yoga. I can't go to the gym. I've always led a healthy life and I'm not sure exactly what I did to it. I spent 5 years of training inhabiting my body and working on my posture and in 5 months of living in London it's disappeared.

I'm better today after my treatment yesterday but I'm still sore. I have sharp pain radiating down my left side down to my calf. Although the Dr.'s said that I do not have nerve damage.

Learning to be patient with my body is difficult as I've gained about 7 pounds since I got here and really don't want to gain anymore. I know that my habits have changed incredibly. I try not to sit all day but that's kind of the way writing works.

Ugh.