And we're back!

So, it's over and I'm back in Canada. For a little while at least.

The whole experience of being back 'home' is surreal. Everything is familiar but at the same time it's not. The first morning I was here I looked at the newspaper and noticed that it's a strange shape; narrow and long. Also the sky is so tall, the roads are so wide that Clapham Common could fit on to one of the six lane highways Calgary has, and the electrical plugs are so tiny. Of course, there are many more differences from here and my old home, but they're all trivial. The thing that's the biggest difference is the feeling I have in my heart.

When I made the decision to apply for a MA in the UK, I was lost and depressed with my life in Vancouver. Then in late February the ball started rolling for me; I booked a bunch of shows and I finally got an audition (and booked it) for an American TV show. Dreams I'd wanted for many years were finally coming true. Then I went to the UK and that was a challenging year, to say the least. I had some wonderful adventures and made friends with some inspiring people and just when I was getting to really know London and its quirks, I came back to Canada.

Now I'm over my jet lag - it took a week- and I'm searching for jobs. I'm traveling between friends and family hoping that some sign of where I'm supposed to be will show itself. But honestly I don't think I've ever felt so directionless in all my life. Am I going to continue to pursue a career in acting/ performing? Am I going to finish this novel I started for my MA (I hope so!)? Should I apply for a UK work visa - because this is the only chance I'll get to do that? If I stay in Canada, where should I settle?

I'm intent not to angst too much about this transition time. After all life is about the journey not the destination, right?

I feel the pressure of growing up and settling down, but with no one to settle down with I'm completely free to continue to pursue my dreams, my adventures and my journey.

I hope that these next few weeks of wandering will help me find a direction to take. Or perhaps I can find a magical potion that lets me live several lives in different cities all at once.