Life out of a suitcase

I've been busy. Too busy to keep up with this blog.

Lots has happened.

I said goodbye to my Mother. I have no idea when I'll see her again. Or my grandmere. I went down to the Okanogan for the weekend a few weeks ago. My mother and I rarely see each other and chat infrequently but hugging her goodbye at the airport was like the final curtain dropping on a Broadway show. I know I'll see her again. I just don't know when.

Last weekend I went to Seattle to perform at at music festival. I drove down with my Stage Manager in a Smart Car, fearing for my life. Inside they are deceptively roomie. Seriously. My friend who owns the smart car is like 6'2" and he's comfortable in it. Thank goodness nothing hit us though.

My performance at the festival couldn't have gone better. I apparently had the highest house count of the day for the venue- 250 in a 295 seat theatre. Which I think says a lot considering my show started 1 hour after the festival gates opened. I also sold all my books. Not that I make any money from that but it is a good ego boost. They like me they really like me! I had so much fun performing my show. There really is a difference between running it for a friend in your apartment and performing on an actual stage infront of a large audience... I know that is an obvious thought but you really have to feel it to experience the difference. And I guess it helps if you enjoy being on stage. Which I do. I really do.

My mother told me a story when I saw her that I'd never heard before. She said that when I was a child I was forever putting on shows. Directing my little brother around, making posters for my shows, staring in everyone. I never knew that. The only stories I heard were about my imaginary friends Dr Bob and Janis from the Muppet Show.

My brain is falling apart these days. I keep running into people that I know but haven't seen in a while and I cannot for the life of me remember their names. I am so embarrassed by it.

On a similar note this past Sunday I was out at a club dancing and this guy, cute and looked vaguely familiar came up to me and asked if I was Sara. "Why, yes I am." I said in my most cheerful tone now assuming that people maybe know of me from my awesome D level Vancouver celebrity-dome. This guy knew my first and last name, knew that I had a book and told me that we had met before- on the internet. "Friendster, Myspace or Facebook?" I asked. "Lavalife." Good god.

Turns out this guy and I had chatted online at sometime. He tried to jog my memory but it's really not up to par these days. Some of it rang a bell but I really had no clue. then I told him that I was moving to London and shortly after he left and I didn't speak to him again all night.

After that I felt incredibly ... awful. Kind of creeped out. Almost stalked. I've had this happen before where I met a guy who knew my full bio and resume and yet never made a move. Ok, so you know me, now what?

I then went home and couldn't sleep. So I searched my old e-mail address, the one I used when I was on lavalife and found one e-mail he sent me. It was really sweet. He talked about how interesting I was, how pretty he thought I was, how he couldn't tell if my eyes were green or brown because in one photo they look green and the other they look brown (duh, their hazel). So, knowing that I only have 2 weeks left in this city I sent him an e-mail... Turns out he has a girlfriend. And he's seen me around town many times before but that Sunday night he said hi because he was feeling friendly.

I'm so glad to be leaving Vancouver and silly guys like this behind. What you aren't normally friendly to say hi to someone.

Now I'm selling all my stuff, surrounded by boxes of "send to Calgary" and "donations" and I'm living my life's theme of alone and no one understands my pain. Alone and no one has the guts to say hi. Alone and no one wants to hang out because you're leaving anyway. In front of 250 people loving every second of it and not having anyone to celebrate with afterwards.

C'est la vie. I'm not sad but anxious to leave and start over.